Xoan’s Story
People often compare life to a marathon race - a long-distance run that demands endurance and perseverance toward a goal. Xoan joined the race of her life at the age of nearly 18. Getting married at a young age, her marriage life encountered various pressures from financial constraints and cultural differences, leading to frequent stresses for Xoan. Overwhelmed by the pressure while too young to have enough experience to deal with them, Xoan had no choice but to run. Running away from her husband's inebriation, running away from the prejudices that may have pushed her family to tragedy, was the only way Xoan could think of.
Not only did Xoan run to escape domestic violence, but she also had to race against the struggles of survival. With a meager salary from her husband’s unstable job, earnings from odd jobs, and profits from livestock farming, Xoan managed to provide for her family of four, including her husband, mother-in-law, a young daughter, and herself.
Financial difficulties arose as her daughter was about to enter the first grade. Xoan worried that she could not afford new clothes for her child and that the financial strains would exacerbate her and her husband's tensions. In the midst of her confusion about the challenges ahead, Xoan was introduced by the Women's Union to the program "Reducing gender-based violence & supporting vulnerable women and girls in ethnic minority areas in northern Vietnam" - an initiative of Hagar International in Vietnam. Xoan gained a better understanding of domestic violence and the skills necessary to respond to and prevent violence by taking part in the project's training. While actively participating in financial management skill training, Xoan recognized the importance of a proper monthly spending plan and understood that limiting unnecessary expenses would help save a small amount of money to support her family.
Finding that project activities provide practical knowledge, Xoan bravely enrolled in training on livelihood skills and registered to receive a livelihood support loan. These were the two project support activities that Xoan was most interested in as the knowledge she gained in the training was extremely useful for her family's livestock expansion.
The financial situation had improved, and so had Xoan's relationship with her husband. The Xoan couple began to understand each other's difficulties as they worked together on livestock farming at home. Xoan's husband started actively helping her with housework. In the case of Xoan, she not only used the nonviolent communication skills she learned during training, but she also had appropriate approaches to deal with her husband's violent behaviors, such as seeking assistance from local authorities, police, or the mayor of the village.
Never stopping running forward in the race of her own life, Xoan had gradually reached her goal of peace and stability. Through the story of Xoan, Hagar hopes that other “marathon runners” will be inspired to keep battling the challenges that lie ahead. Believe that as long as you are persistent and persistent with your goal, you will reach your desired finish line sooner or later.
This project has received support from the Australian Government under the Australian NGO Cooperation Program (ANCP).
