Tam’s Story
Tam shoulders the immense responsibility of providing for her family. While herself, her husband and children lack formal education, her daughter faces mental challenges, and her son struggles with cognitive limitations. She has endured years of domestic abuse. Jealousy fueled her husband's rage, leading to weekly episodes of physical violence so severe the entire village became aware. Seeking refuge, she often relied on her grandmother's home. Though many urged her to leave, the thought of abandoning her vulnerable children kept her captive in that cycle of violence.
Tam's daughter, who lived with a cognitive disability, was tragically subjected to a sexual assault while tending buffaloes. The perpetrator, a fellow villager also grappling with mental health struggles, left behind a heartbreaking consequence - an unwanted child. Now, she shoulders the additional responsibility of raising her granddaughter, a bright young girl in elementary school.
Despite the immense burden, Tam demonstrates incredible strength. Her physical and mental health remain stable enough for her to work and care for her family. However, financial concerns constantly cloud her mind. Her job provides limited security, and as the sole income earner, she worries about making ends meet. Tam joined Hagar’s Decreasing Gender Based Violence project in the Yen Bai province of Vietnam where she received financial support to buy cinnamon seedling and fertilizer. Thanks to that, she could save money for living expenses and ensure investing in education opportunities for her granddaughter - the only literate member of the family and a potential beacon of hope for their future. Tam also had a chance to participate in a series of capacity building training under the project, which supported her to enhance knowledge and skills to deal with violence situations and apply appropriate techniques into her growing cinnamon.
While Tam showed her consistent participation in project activities, her husband was also a member of male peer groups. Benefiting from the trained skills, Tam has developed her coping mechanisms. Recognizing the pattern, she disengages when the tirades begin, choosing not to internalize his negativity. Per her sharing, after joining the training, her husband’s physical violence, especially ones towards the children, has ceased. Furthermore, the frequency of his verbal barrages has lessened.
Ranking the vulnerability of both her mental health and economic condition as one of the highest cases in the community, the further support on psychological counselling and nutritional and educational support for Tam's granddaughter have been delivered. Furthermore, the Communal Women’s Union have provided support in obtaining legal documents and literacy education for her son and navigating the government's home repair programs for her recognized underprivileged family. Significantly, under the support of case manager, she was encouraged to engage more closely with the Communal Women's Union and her niece’s school to access local resources and foster a sense of belonging within her new community. Tam, previously hesitant about asking, has finally begun communicating openly and frequently with both case managers and local officials including school teacher.
“I am overflowing with gratitude for Hagar's support. Arriving in Yen Bai as a bride from another province, I found herself isolated, without familial support. Add to that a husband's violence and family challenging circumstances, I often retreated into a shell of low self-esteem and unable to seek help from the community. Now, my hopes bloom again. With Hagar and the local government's aid, I look forward to my granddaughter's education flourishing, my crumbling house repaired, and my son empowered with literacy education, equipped to work and support the family.”
This project has received support from the Australian Government under the Australian NGO Cooperation Program (ANCP).
